Autism: Surviving and Thriving

Fourteen years ago my youngest 3 boys were diagnosed with autism within a 9 month span. Devastation and grieving followed. Doctors gave me little or no hope, but they didn't know me very well. I refused to believe that my boys were doomed.

My boys are now young men, adults with autism. They are thriving, but every day presents its turmoil and challenges.

My family: husband Mike, sons Ryan 23 yr, Nicholas 21 yr, and Cameron 18 yr. (Ryan and Nick have autism; Cam has recovered from autism.) Our oldest sons, Michael 34 yr and Stuart 25 yr, moved out of the house. Ryan has also moved out, and is still working towards complete independence.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Ryan Graduates

It's been a long time in coming.  Ryan graduates, and he is done with schooling.  For now at least.  It's time to celebrate.

Ryan was three years old on his first day of school. He did not go to pre-school.  He went to a "communicative handicap" class.  He did not talk.  At all.  At this point I had never paid attention to the word autism.  No one said Ryan had autism.  Ryan just didn't talk.

Maybe he was deaf.  Maybe his brothers talked for him so he didn't have to.  Maybe his mother just held him too much, so he didn't develop normally.

I heard all the above and much more from doctors and family members. None of it was true.  Ryan had been talking.  Ryan talked, laughed, smiled, played.  All normal, typical behaviors.  Then it all stopped.  Autism hit. Fast forward through years of diagnostic tests and multiple therapies, we arrived at a milestone.  Graduation.

Ryan has successfully completed a general course of study.  That only tells of the academic success.  There's also the mastery of sensory issues, spinning, talking, etc.  Ryan may not have been valedictorian, but his accomplishments are no less.

Very proud of him!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Tennis Season Is Done and The Payoff

Nick and Ryan
Ryan and Nick finished their tennis season a few weeks ago.  They were happy to be done with daily practice.  I am thrilled they stuck with the sport through the entire season.

There were days when Ryan did not want to go.  "It's hot," or "I don't feel like it." Then there's the classic, "I have homework to do."  However, Ryan did continued to go.  On the other hand, Nick did not voice any complaints, but I bet the heat bothered him occasionally.  We strongly encouraged both of them throughout the season. Even the grandparents helped coach and practiced with them.  It is hard to say, "I'm tired," when a couple of 70+ years are out on the court!

We stressed the commitment and the membership of belonging to a team.  They just couldn't quit.  They understood, and finished they did!

They really enjoyed the sport.  As Ryan said, "I don't have to run all the time.  There's breaks."  Nick wants to join the team next year.  "By then I'll be really good cuz I'm going to practice lots."  Knowing Nick, he'll follow through.

From a mom's point of view, here is the payoff for my kids with autism:  they are receiving texts inviting them to go out and play tennis.  Kids with autism have such a difficult time talking, socializing, etc., and it's so easy for others to NOT invite them.  It saves everyone that uncomfortable, awkward situation of what to say or do.

Out on a tennis court, that situation is removed.  They play tennis.  They talk tennis.  It's a basis for a friendship to grow.  The sport builds camaraderie between teammates, as well as the competition between opponents.  The teammates and opponents can be one and the same too!

My boys are happy as well!  Which makes Momma happy!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Humor?

What is the difference between ignorance and indifference?

I don't know, and I don't care.

HA--until you have to explain it to kids with autism.  They see definitions only.


Friday, May 3, 2013

Autism and Scholarship: Party Time

Now we're at the reception following the scholarship recognition ceremony.

Ryan and I hightailed it to the coffee line as the food line led to wheat laden food.  (Ryan is gluten free except for wheat that I grind--unprocessed/unheated wheat.)  At the coffee bar, we chatted a bit between ourselves and then with a few others we knew.  Out of nowhere, Ryan announced, "I'm going to talk with that girl."

I reacted casually (?), "What girl?"

"THAT girl, in line."

Wow!  OK.  I recognized her from elementary school.  When Ryan was home schooled, she made the effort to talk with Ryan.  Ryan always answered her questions, but never ventured to initiate his own line of conversation.  Well, today he did.  He held a conversation with her.  They included me.  I was impressed.  It was not too long when they walked away.  Without me.

Too cool!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Autism and Scholarships: Thrilling!

Yesterday Mike and I were absolutely thrilled to watch Ryan walk across the stage at his high school to receive a certificate.  This certificate recognized Ryan as a recipient of an academic scholarship.  There were moments when I doubted we'd get to this point.  Even applying for the scholarship had its moments.  I've described some of that in previous posts, so I won't belabor "the steps" here.

Ryan's response to the event really surprised me.

He was happy.  If you know Ryan, he doesn't smile often.

He tried to hide his smile when he walked down the steps of the stage, but for once, he couldn't hide his true emotion.  He smiled, well ok, he smirked.  He KNEW this was an accomplishment.  He LIKED being recognized.  Not comfortable. But liked.

New territory for Ryan.

After the ceremony, there was a reception.  News about that will come in the next entry!