Autism: Surviving and Thriving

Fourteen years ago my youngest 3 boys were diagnosed with autism within a 9 month span. Devastation and grieving followed. Doctors gave me little or no hope, but they didn't know me very well. I refused to believe that my boys were doomed.

My boys are now young men, adults with autism. They are thriving, but every day presents its turmoil and challenges.

My family: husband Mike, sons Ryan 23 yr, Nicholas 21 yr, and Cameron 18 yr. (Ryan and Nick have autism; Cam has recovered from autism.) Our oldest sons, Michael 34 yr and Stuart 25 yr, moved out of the house. Ryan has also moved out, and is still working towards complete independence.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Lord, Please Give Me Coffee or Give Me Wine

I love this quip (see photo). I use it as part of my "signature" in all my emails.

Of course, it’s a spin off the Serenity Prayer, but I much prefer this adaptation.  It’s much more applicable in my life.  I drink coffee.  I drink wine.  I drink coffee to be alert and DO.  I drink wine to chill and RELAX.  I know I’m not alone.  I know many moms, especially moms of special needs kiddos who rely on this mantra.

With kids, every mom has a daily to-do list.  If you homeschool, that list is even longer.  I have autistic teens.  My list, well, I’ve learned to call it a wish list.  No matter how I plan, life just throws a curve ball, and I have to adjust.  Sometimes, my kids don’t understand an assignment which I thought would take little time to accomplish.  Other times, I get a call from a therapist, doctor, or Mr. WhoknowsWho, and wham, I have to deal with THIS situation right away.  Of course, THIS situation blows up my to-do list.  Hence, now it;s a wish list.  Maybe I'll get to it...

What am I going to do?  Complain?  Probably.  Will it help?  No.

Sigh.  That’s when I ask, “Dear Lord, what do you want me to do?”  I have to admit it is more fun to pray “Lord, give me more coffee to change what I can change, and wine to accept what I can’t.”  However, it is actually helpful to hold a cup of coffee to slow me down to think of what I should do.  It helps to hold a glass of wine to reflect on what I need to accept. Obviously, I don’t do this ALL the time, but the idea still holds.

SO, I have learned to have a plan and be flexible. I have to remember that the Good Lord is in charge, and what I thought was important may not be so important.  I pray that God will give me what I need and when I need it.  It may be simply more coffee or more wine, depending on the case.  Maybe it will be just a moment of silence to distinguish His will, and that is enough.