A Guilt-Free Mother: Fantasy or Science Fiction?

I just read a book. That in itself is an accomplishment because finding time to sit and read really does not exist with a family of teenage boys. Seriously, with all that has been happening in my life, I thought it was time to read this book that a friend gave to me years ago.

The book, Guilt-Free Motherhood by Joni Hilton, is an easy read, and it offers typical, common-sense advice. However, I found that other moms simply laughed when they saw the title of the book. I have to agree. Is any mom ever guilt-free?

One friend quietly queried me, "What genre is it, fantasy or science fiction?" At first, I didn't know what she was talking about because she asked so softly. She glanced at the book. AHHH! I replied, "Both." We laughed. After a few minutes, I corrected myself. "It's a comedy." She thought that was a better description. My conclusion is that trying to be a guilt-free mother is actually all three: fantasy, science fiction, and comedy.

What other job requires relentless imagination to solve problems? What career demands unlimited patience to overcome obstacles? What profession necessitates an endless sense of humor to relinquish perfection? Motherhood entails this and so much more!

One comment in the book is worth mentioning. The author advises to let kids know that I enjoy what I do for them. Basically, if I resent giving my time and effort, it isn't a gift of love. I took this further, that this gift can also be rejected. Sometimes my kids don't want what I've done for them. That is a hard pill to swallow, especially when I've sacrificed to accomplish that task. However, that is love--a willing sacrifice for another. It's also a choice for the other person to accept it or not.

I also think that guilt is not all bad. Guilt can keep us moms on our toes. Just like I try to teach my boys that they can learn from their mistakes, so can I. Then move on. Don't dwell, but do learn.

It helps to have some room for fantasy, science fiction, and comedy in motherhood!

I Am A Frog?

Another mom of a special needs kid recently compared me to a frog. Really. She said that there is this anecdote of a frog in a pot, and I'm the frog. ?? I'm embarrassed that I had to look it up. Here is the story:

A live frog is put in a pot of cold water. The fire is turned up. Unless the frog jumps out, the frog is unknowingly cooked.

So I am the frog. I have been experiencing some heat from the fire of life, and I am aware the fire has been on. I can't jump out of the pot, as that would mean leaving my family which is not option. How do I survive this boiling pot of water?

The only conclusion is to get a heat-resistant lily pad! Now I have the challenge to figure out what that lily pad is in reality.

photo credit:jronaldlee