Working Full time with Autism: NOT

For the last three weeks, I have been working full time. It's a writing project. I enjoy writing, so I thought this would be a good mix with family life. It has been a wonderful, novel time. I'm getting out of the house, and my brain is challenged in ways that do not include autism. VERY NOVEL IDEA. This is a time for just me. Again, what a new idea!

However, there is no separating my boys from me. I miss them.

More importantly, they need me. Although the boys can be left alone for hours, the preparation for school, ie homework, dinner, etc really does require a parent.

More than just the boys, school requires attention. School administrators, teachers, counselors, etc. don't necessarily follow up, unless a phone call or email prompts the need. Usually, they respond quite readily. Phone calls really work better than emails. Better yet is a personal visit. I can't manage that while working.

Although I have enjoyed meeting new people and doing new tasks, I've already given notice. The role of motherhood always comes first.

Can I Ask For Forgiveness: Part II

To review what recently happened,  Nicholas started a conversation with a very awkward set of phrases or questions. He referred to an example, a download, and forgiveness. None of it made any sense, at least at that point. I waited a week to see if Nick would initiate the conversation again. Alas, it didn't happen.

So I took the lead.

Nick joined me for a three mile walk. We chatted about a few things, mostly about the weather or things we saw. I finally asked him, "Remember you asked for forgiveness?" He responded with a nod. I continued, "What was that about?" He smiled. That confirmed that he did indeed remember.

"Mom," he said, "Remember I went to laser tag with Casey. We got hungry." Nick stopped talking like that was all he needed to say.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that. Why did you need forgiveness?" I inquired.

Nick smiled again. Whatever it was, I don't think he was really sorry.

Nick replied, "Casey ordered pizza." Again, Nick stopped liked that answered my curiosity. It didn't.

"And?"

Nick had a sheepish smile on his face. "I had a piece."

Oh! Nick is gluten free, and this was the culprit.

The conversation continued to reveal bits and pieces. The end result was that Nick had ordered a pizza too, not just had a piece of Casey's pizza. I explained to Nick that sharing the pizza was very understandable. Teenage boys having pizza. Sounds like heaven on earth for teenagers. However, Nick knew he wasn't suppose to have pizza that I didn't make at home. What havoc that does to his stomach and brain!

"So, Mom, can I have forgiveness?"

"Of course, Nick." At this point, I couldn't get mad at him. He knew the consequences of his actions. He set me up perfectly too. How could I get upset when he opened the door by asking for forgiveness? Talk about a brilliant mind!!!

He was willing to go through pain in order to be able to share a meal with a friend.

By the way, the download and the example??? Nick was trying to figure out how to talk about the whole incident, and couldn't figure out how to start the conversation. Very typical of an autistic mind.

Can I Ask For Forgiveness: A Dot to Dot Conversation

"Mom, can I ask for forgiveness?" I didn't take that as a good sign.

Nicholas has been talking better in the last few weeks. However, the conversation is really fragmented. For example, here is how the last one started. It was like a verbal connect the dot game.

"Mom, I have an example."

"Of what?" I thought to myself.

"Mom, if I download something..."

Ummm.... where are we going with this...

"Mom, can I ask for forgiveness?"

I intentionally do not react, although my brain is firing off possibilities of what could have happened. Then I think back to the clues he gave me. An example. A download. Forgiveness.

The real problem kicks in now. Nick refuses to talk anymore.

I know anxiety precludes Nick from any decent form of conversation. So this is one where I'll have to be patient. It's like the TV mystery show that end with "to be continued" just at that precise moment of...

--to be continued!

photo credit: wrestlingentropy's photostream (5,058)

Follow Up On Nicholas: A Good Week

I went to the school psychologist to follow up on the Best Buddy program. Nothing has been done. The psychologist said he did ask about it, but I have to fill out the application online. I asked if I could print out the application and give it to the program coordinator since I was there on campus. The answer was NO.

I have a problem with filling out information about my boys online. I don't know where this information is going. This is private information, and I don't want their identity compromised.

In the past couple of months I've already received solicitation calls for my two teens with autism. These are calls regarding college and taking the PSAT or SAT. I've asked these callers where they are getting my sons' information from, and they refuse to tell me.

I conveyed this to the psychologist who said that is illegal. These callers must identify where they are getting the information. That doesn't do me any good, and it only makes me more cautious as to filling out forms online.

We are at a stalemate.

The good side is that Nick seems to be holding his own for now. He's talking a bit better. He seems more stable emotionally. So we continue to take one day at a time.