Twelve Days of Christmas Wrap Up

How we celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas varies. Early on each boy received his own present most days. When they were younger, it was easy to find little cars or toys. Now that they are older, their taste has matured. So this year the boys didn't get individual gifts. They enjoyed a single gift.

As the year progresses, events happen that inspire a gift. For example, living in the Southwest, the air is dry, and the boys are always in need to chap stick. So I bought a 4-pack of chap stick. That fit into Day 1 box. It's not exactly a "fun" present, but the boys were happy to each have his own.

Here is another example. I frequently purchase batteries. It never fails when I need a battery, there is none to be found. The boys constantly are raiding the supply for their devices. As a result, I purchased a pack of batteries so that they each had their own stash. The pack fit in the Day 2 box, so that was the gift of Day 2.

Day 3 was homemade fudge. I don't make fudge often, so this was a special treat. I had written "fudge" on a slip of paper and put that in the box. The boys had fun searching the kitchen for it.

Day 4 was a family trip to the local botanical gardens. The boys thoroughly enjoyed the first hour of strolling through the paths of local flora and fauna. We found herbs that we wanted to try growing at home. The second hour was not as enjoyable as hungry stomachs rumbled despite the snacks brought along. We found a local eatery. Peace resumed.

Day 5 was a 4 pack of Starbucks. Simple splurge. Day 5 also included Christmas candy--dark chocolate. I picked this up at half price after Christmas!

Day 6 was an organic blend of apple cider for a new "coffee" machine that St. Nick brought the family. The boys' diet restricts the purchase of regular apple cider, so this was a fun treat.

Day 7 was lunch out to a restaurant. Since we don't travel much, we try to find restaurants that have an authentic cultural flair. This time we ventured into an Italian restaurant run by a first generation Italian who uses his mother and grandmother's recipes from Italy. What a difference from the Italian restaurant chains! The music and decor moved us to Italy for a few hours.

Day 8 was a movie. The boys enjoyed War Horse.

Day 9 was a CD and DVD.

Day 10 was a new sport game for the game system. It's one of the interactive games where the boys get to challenge each other, they have to physically move!!! No more sitting on the couch when they play. Even Dad got involved and played!!!

Day 11 was another DVD.

Day 12 was lunch at a Persian restaurant. We again had fun exploring new tastes and new foods.

I already have a few gifts for next year's 12 Days. I've purchased a few things at 50-70% off during the after-Christmas sales. I'll also start thinking what new family experiences to plan for next year.

Pondering the Twelve Days of Christmas

It started out of 2 needs. I wanted to celebrate the real Christmas season, and I needed to not spend a lot of money.

In the early years of our marriage, I saw how the materialism was ruining Christmas. All the commercials were enticing my young boys. Toys, trucks, games, etc. "I want this, Mom." To show how bad the commercialism impacted my sons, one said, "If you won't buy it for me, I'll tell my grandpa, and he'll get it for me." He said this with absolute assurance that his grandfather would get it. The sad part is--he was right. His grandfather loved to spoil him. There is nothing wrong with grandparents expressing their love through gift-giving. However, when a grandchild EXPECTS it, that is NOT acceptable.

The commercialism also made the Christmas season the time BEFORE Christmas, not the 12 days following. I wanted to teach my boys what the "liturgical calendar" was vs the "retail calendar". Christmas does not END on December 25. The Christmas Season truly STARTS on Christmas Day.

The other reason that prompted our celebrating the 12 Days of Christmas was money; there was the lack of funds to purchase these tokens of love, those gifts. We were not starving, but finances were slim. Extras just didn't exist. So how could I provide a modest yet meaningful Christmas?

My husband and I decided that the 12 Days of Christmas were a perfect answer. We could space out the gifts, one per day. We could take advantage of the sales the days after Christmas when tons of items were half price. We could easily stretch what little money we had to purchase a bit more.

The effect was wonderful. On Christmas Day the boys opened gifts from relatives. They also opened that special gift that Santa brought. The next day they could open another present which appeared that morning under the tree. The next day also produced a new round of gifts. Needless to say, the boys enjoyed opening presents daily. Each present was thoroughly enjoyed. The boys were not overwhelmed by a ton of items all at once. That is incredibly important for kids with autism. There was no let-down that usually comes from the "that's it!" idea. Clean up was also much EASIER. Learning to put new things away was simpler as well. Each item found its home daily, rather than stashing lots of stuff in a closet.

So what did I give each day? Most of the gifts were simple: a pack of gum, a soda, movie tickets, board games or a deck of cards. Sometimes gifts were necessities, like socks or shoes. Some presents were very individualized, like music. Others were family oriented. As the boys have grown, we have moved toward the family experiences: dinner out, a day at the beach, bowling, miniature golf, and Disneyland.

The focus of Christmas is so easily lost in our trying to show our love via an item. Scrambling to the stores and malls has turned into a zoo. People get hurt or trampled on Black Friday. The birth of Our Lord is diminished through such chaos. We have tried to show our boys that gift giving should reflect the love of Our Father through the birth of His Son. Christ was born in a humble manger. He didn't require silk and satin. Likewise, our tokens of love don't have to be diamonds and emeralds. The gift of self is the best. It does not cost anything, yet it is priceless!

photo credit:brockvicky

Keeping Christmas Alive

When my kids were younger, I was concerned if they understood the real meaning of Christmas. With public schools taking every notion of spirituality out and stores marketing the "perfect" gift, I needed to emphasize the birth of Christ. Autistic kids are so literal, so I wanted to ensure MY values are stressed, not the school's or retailer's.

I started with simple steps. My kids understood the traditional rituals of a birthday party; they understood a birthday party included items like gifts, cake, candles, and singing. So on Christmas afternoon, we celebrated the birth of Christ like all other birthdays. We baked a cake together. We all blew out the candles and sang "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. This also helped with the Christmas "blues" that sometimes came. (All the presents were opened, now what?) We always enjoyed the birthday party, and the focus was on Baby Jesus.

As the boys grew older, we evolved into celebrating the twelve days of Christmas. We gave gifts every day from December 25 to January 6. Again, this was to emphasize that Christmas was not just about getting gifts in abundance. The focus had to remain on the Christ-child. We always said a small prayer of thanks before opening the gifts. Our gifts usually centered on family events, giving of our time to each other.

"Gifts" varied from a video rental to dinner out. Miniature golfing or bowling were winners as well. Once in a while, we gave a can of soda or made a whole pizza for each boy. Of course, we had gifts of little toys are games in the mix. The boys learned patience and were able to appreciate gifts as they were received instead of the "what should I open next" syndrome.

Christmas is a joyful season. Instead of ending on December 25, it's only the beginning.