Autism: Surviving and Thriving

Fourteen years ago my youngest 3 boys were diagnosed with autism within a 9 month span. Devastation and grieving followed. Doctors gave me little or no hope, but they didn't know me very well. I refused to believe that my boys were doomed.

My boys are now young men, adults with autism. They are thriving, but every day presents its turmoil and challenges.

My family: husband Mike, sons Ryan 23 yr, Nicholas 21 yr, and Cameron 18 yr. (Ryan and Nick have autism; Cam has recovered from autism.) Our oldest sons, Michael 34 yr and Stuart 25 yr, moved out of the house. Ryan has also moved out, and is still working towards complete independence.

Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts

Friday, September 19, 2014

Ryan Has A Job (but he didn't tell us)

This conversation is quite indicative of Ryan.  He likes to keep to himself, or as we call it, he likes to stay in his world.  The owner of the photo shop classes and I have had several, small conversations on the side.  In this case, I knew a job for Ryan was very likely, but I didn't know when.  It is imperative that parents of autistic adults stay in close contact with people who are around their young, autistic adult.

Wednesday evening:
Ryan

Mom:  How was class?
Ryan;  Fine.

Mom waits for elaboration, but knows none will come.

Thursday morning:

Mom:  How was class?
Ryan:  You asked me that yesterday.
Mom:  Yes, but all you said was fine. So how was class?
Ryan:  Fine.
Mom:  Did you do as well as you did last time?
Ryan:  Yes.
Mom:  Did they say anything about getting hired officially?
Ryan:  Yes.
Mom:  So??

Ryan says nothing.

Mom:  So you have a job?
Ryan:  Yes.

Mom's eyes widen, and Dad turns around to face Ryan.

Dad:  Why didn't you say this yesterday?
Ryan:  Um.
Mom:  Now you see why I asked you again?  You didn't tell us this. This is great news!
Dad:  Yeah, this is a big deal.
Ryan:  Yeah (trying not to smile).
Mom:  SMILE.
Ryan:  Ok (with a silly grin).

We went out to dinner to celebrate to illustrate that it is important to share news with us.  How else could we mark the occasion??

 

Friday, May 3, 2013

Autism and Scholarship: Party Time

Now we're at the reception following the scholarship recognition ceremony.

Ryan and I hightailed it to the coffee line as the food line led to wheat laden food.  (Ryan is gluten free except for wheat that I grind--unprocessed/unheated wheat.)  At the coffee bar, we chatted a bit between ourselves and then with a few others we knew.  Out of nowhere, Ryan announced, "I'm going to talk with that girl."

I reacted casually (?), "What girl?"

"THAT girl, in line."

Wow!  OK.  I recognized her from elementary school.  When Ryan was home schooled, she made the effort to talk with Ryan.  Ryan always answered her questions, but never ventured to initiate his own line of conversation.  Well, today he did.  He held a conversation with her.  They included me.  I was impressed.  It was not too long when they walked away.  Without me.

Too cool!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

More Improvement After Chelation: A Real Conversation

It has now been several weeks since we finished the first round of chelation IVs, and we are seeing and hearing about vast improvements in speech.

About a week ago Nick and I visited Michael, Cody's big brother. Michael had a few friends visiting, which surprised Nick. Like most kids with autism, Nick didn't like the unplanned visitors. I told him we could stay in a back bedroom for a while. He liked that idea. When he got hungry, Nick ventured into the kitchen to get food. While in the kitchen, Michael introduced Nick to Ted. Ted started to ask Nick a few questions on the subject of music, and Michael made sure that both Nick and Ted knew that the other played an instrument. Then Michael left.

Meanwhile, I was in the bedroom reading, and I noticed that Nick had been gone a long time. I went to the kitchen to check on him. I found him talking to Ted. I stayed and listened for about five minutes. They were talking about percussion instruments. I returned to the room to read my book. Time flew by.

"Hey, MOM." I looked up to see Nick. "Mom, I had a long 'conservation', didn't I?"

It took me a moment to understand. "Conversation?" I asked. Nick nodded.

I didn't know how much time had lapsed, but enough for me to read several chapters. I asked Nick, "You've been talking all this time?"

He beamed, "YES! I did good, didn't I?" I agreed.

The next day I found out how long that conversation had been: over 45 minutes. My Nick talked with Ted for almost an hour. Michael said that he heard Ted and Nick talk about music, school, girls, and sports. I was shocked that Nick could talk that long!

There was a time not too long ago that Nick could talk with someone for about five minutes, and then Nick would have to lie down and rest because he was mentally and physically exhausted. Talking for Nick was like running a marathon to an athlete. However, this time Nick was not tired, and he was a happy kid!

Nick had a real conversation!