How To Enjoy Raindrops

Ryan could sit and stare at raindrops for hours. At the age of four, he was very content to sit and watch. He could not talk then, so I really had no idea what he was thinking.

I wonder if he remembers. I can only imagine that he was looking at the raindrops like most kids look at clouds. I remember looking at clouds and trying to imagine what those shapes could be... a hand, an elephant, a tree.

Maybe Ryan was playing the connect the dots in his mind, or maybe he simply just watched the drops to see where they went. Could he have imagined that those drops were mini-worlds?

I do know that those drops kept Ryan entertained for hours. He quietly observed. He dared to touch a few drops. He quickly dried his fingers. He listened to the rhythm as the rain dripped. Then he repeated the pattern with his own fingers on the ground.

Some people could call this obsessive-compulsive behavior. I would like to think he was learning about his environment.

At this point in my life, I would love to take the time to watch raindrops for longer than a few seconds. Maybe Ryan was onto something much bigger than just watching raindrops. Maybe he found a few moments of peace.

photo credit:tibchris

Patience

We are in the middle of painting--waiting for the new floor to get installed. Maybe this weekend the floor will get done. I have been amazed at how well the boys have adapted to our unpredictable way of life for the last two weeks.

They need more time to accomplish certain tasks, but overall, they have adjusted well. Ryan has adapted the easiest of the youngest three boys. He allows more time to do each task. Nick gets frustrated, but he persists. Cam wants to jam through everything; consequently, a second time is usually required.

Keeping calm is the name of the game. SIGH.

How To Channel and Develop Touch: Sensory Board

Kelly, our occupational therapist, strongly suggested we make a sensory board for the boys. The purpose of this board was to channel their tactile sensitivity. Our goal was to educate them about touch, literally direct their sense of touch. We did not want to desensitize; we did not want to deaden their sense of touch.

Now getting the boys to cooperate was a different matter.

We started simply: a plain piece of white cardboard. We asked the boys to look at it. The boys looked at it. No problem. Then we asked them to touch it. The boys had no problem touching it. Those were huge steps. Each step was followed by praise.

Over the following weeks, we slowly attached different materials to the board, adding only one at a time. Each material had a different surface. We included sand paper, silk, velvet, denim, wool, and plastic. Each piece was about three inches. Each new piece presented trials for each boy.

I touched the material first. I had to show the boys that I would not get hurt. Then I usually did a hand-over-hand with the boys. That means I took their hand and touched the new sample gently. I quickly let their hand go. Then it was up to them to willingly touch. Sometimes it took several attempts over months to get the boys comfortable to touch each sample.

We did not spend a lot of time in this activity. It really was a few minutes three or four times a week. I am not really sure how long it took for the boys to master the "touch" of the board; I think it was a year.

We then ventured into more surfaces, such as wood, sand, metal, and glass. We talked about the uses of each as the boys held the sample. We also cautioned them about the hazards of each.

As they adapted to these new surfaces, we tried going outside. Grass, trees, sidewalks, anything that was in their environment posed tactile problems. So the next step was to introduce more surfaces in a controlled environment: a sensory room. I'll write about our sensory room next time!

How To Change Chaos Into An Adventure

On January 5, I wrote that our water heater broke. Three areas in our house were damaged: the garage, kitchen, and bath room. We had to change our daily routine. We changed how we cooked and where we ate. We relocated many items from our pantry. In short, we had organized chaos, which autistic children do not like. As stated in a previous post, autistic children prefer a predictable routine.

I had to think creatively to ease the transition for Ryan, Nick, and Cameron. For meal times, I suggested we "picnic" on the living room floor. They thought that was really "cool". They spread out towels on the carpet. Plastic forks and paper plates were the rage.

Since we had minimal cooking facilities, we ate via candlelight to complete the "rugged" atmosphere. Fire and flame were also "cool". They each had a turn lighting the candles while I cringed with a water bucket in hand. All went well.

To find items that had to be moved from the pantry, we simply hunted. We never "looked" for an item; we hunted. Again, that really appealed to the primitive conditions of our house. Hunting was "cool".

I had to think outside the box quickly to keep this whole disaster in check. If I could stay calm, the boys had a better chance of staying calm. This was critical. I simply switched from the pessimistic point of view to the optimistic point of view. I was very careful with my words and my tone.

So what started as a nightmare turned into a wonderful adventure.

Beach and Tactile Issues Part 2

Last week we had fun at the beach. Several years ago that was an impossibility. The boys simply could not have handled the sand.

Tactile = anything pertaining to the sense of touch The tactile symptoms of autism can be unique, just as each individual, autistic or not, is unique. Ryan, Nick, and Cameron had various tactile issues. Ryan did not like to be touched. Nick could not handle clothing on his arms and legs, nor shoes on his feet. Cam banged his head on the floor. None of them could tolerate anything gooey or dirty on their skin. None of them could tolerate the feel of denim or anything metal, such as zippers. Really, the only material they could tolerate was cotton. It was quite distressing to figure out what to do in each case. Remember that Ryan was diagnosed with autism at age seven, Nick at age five, and Cam at age two. Since we did not know what we were dealing with, the earlier years for Ryan and Nick were really a struggle. We simply did not hug Ryan much. As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, Ryan would lean back to get out of a hug, and this usually resulted with a dent in a wall. Nick ran around in shorts and t-shirts. Cam usually wore a bike helmet to protect his head. The real progress in their learning to live with "touch" did not start until we had Kelly, an occupational therapist. At first, I thought that meant sending my kids to work, as in to earn a paycheck. I quickly learned that occupational therapy related to the kids and what was a normal activity in which they should be able to participate. The first, big step was shaving cream. It was easy to put on, and easy to wash off. If it got on clothes, it was easily washed out. Kelly put just a little bit on each hand of my boys. Oh, the screeching and hollering that bellowed from my kids, protesting that awful stuff. Poor Kelly. She timed this activity. At first it was simply trying to get the kids to tolerate a minute of shaving cream on their hands. That took about a month to master. Of course, they still screeched and protested. Ryan even jumped around because he did not like it one bit. Kelly rewarded them with spinning or swinging. That gave each boy some down time, time to recover. Obviously, this issue is going to be a mini-series instead of two parts. Next time I'll go into more detail and briefly cover other therapies like the use of horses, sensory room, sensory boards, etc. photo credit: littledan77

I Want To Be In Hot Water!

Today I planned on writing about tactile issues. However, I'm going to write about flexibility with autistic children. This change is born out of necessity of life.

Today our water heater broke. No hot water means cold showers. Yea, right!

Improvise! With autistic children? Yea, right!

One of the "symptoms" of autism is a rigidness about schedules. My 13 year-old Nick and 15 year-old Ryan are no different. They prefer a non-changing schedule, so that they know what is coming next. We usually give them a two-minute warning when they have to stop the current activity, just like football. Even with a warning, there is no guarantee that these kids will adjust willingly (or unwillingly).

This morning Mike and I discovered the "no hot water" problem. I immediately started boiling water in a pan, micro-waving water in a bowl, and heating water in my hot pot from my college days. As the boys woke up, I told them the problem, how it would effect them, and how we would live for the day. I specifically said that the water heater broke, so there was no hot water. Then I said that they could wash their hair in the kitchen sink with my help. They could also take a sponge bath, hospital style. I also emphasized that "no shower" or "no hair washing" simply was not an option.

Nick had to repeat everything I said, but he still was ready to take a normal shower. I had to stop him and remind him that it would be a cold shower. He wanted to take a shower. I decided not to push the issue. In a minute I heard the shower go on. And off. He came out and opted for the hot water-sink option for washing his hair.

Ryan braved the cold shower, but only after I brought in bowls of hot water and left. He decided he could put wash-clothes in the hot water and use them to do his own sponge bath in the shower. Creative. He wanted to be completely independent (which I was totally grateful and thankful that was his wish).

Stuart and Cameron had no problem adjusting.

So here's to the life of hot showers and boiling water. I also understand why plumbers do get paid well!

The Beach and Tactile Issues Part 1

They said they would not get wet. They did not want sand on them. They did not want to put on their bathing suits. I finally persuaded them to put on shorts. I brought towels just in case.

Thirty minutes later we arrived at the beach. Under protest all four of my boys removed their shoes and socks. We walked on the sand towards the water. We dumped our shoes where the tide would not get them wet. Then we continued to the beach.

There was a slight breeze. The sun made the sand warm. It's January, and we're taking the boys to the beach. Crazy?

I was in the water first. I let the water come up to my knees. Cold.

Cameron tested the water with his toes. Brrrr. Nick watched from where we dumped the shoes. Ryan walked into the water and immediately ran out. Stuart carefully ran toward the tides, embracing the waves.

Within ten minutes, the water has lured all of them in, Even Nick. There is just something about the beach, with the waves coming and going, that soothes even my autistic boys. We let the boys have space and did not push them at all. They each entered the water when they were ready. I think the rhythm of the sound really helps them feel at ease.

An hour later the boys were drenched. Keep in mind that our pool at home can be 80 degrees F, and that is "too cold". However, the beach water was below 70 I think, and that was NOT too cold.

One wave hit Ryan, and he fell in the water. The sand on his face did freak him out. I could see the panic in his face, and I immediately wiped it off with my long sleeve. Then he was fine. The boys continued to play, run, and fall in the water. They collected sea shells. They even curled their toes in the sand.

All in all, I bet no one at the beach knew that I was dealing with two boys who could not stand to have dirt or mud on their hands. Ten years ago, this beach trip was only a fantasy. Through lots of tactile therapy, we can now go. The beach is fun!

In part 2 I will go through some steps as to how we overcame severe tactile issues.