Anniversaries--When Autism Joined Our Family

Eleven years ago we stole away for ten days.  It was the first such trip since the boys were diagnosed with autism.  Mike's mom came down to take care of the boys.  We had no idea how they would react when they realized we were going to be gone for so long.

At that time, we actually didn't know Ryan and Cameron were autistic.  Only Nick had been diagnosed.  Ryan and Cameron would be diagnosed within a couple of months.  Had we waited to go, I don't think we would have left after hearing the diagnosis of all three.

Thank God for grandmas.  It was a much needed break to refocus on us.  Mike's mom reassured us that all will be well.  Our kids loved her, so we had no doubts.

Well, we did.  We bought cell phones--our first cell phones before we left.  Leaving our kids for the first time for that duration was scary.  We bought cell phones for that "just in case" emergency.  No one ever called for an emergency.

We had a wonderful time celebrating our 13 years.

Today We Reached 24 Years

Sheryl & Mike:  24th Anniversary

Mike and I have spent over half of our lives together, and we still like each other.  Of course, we still love each other too, but being friends coincides with being spouses.  I am amazed that 24 years have flown by.  It's good to stop and celebrate these occasions!

People have been asking me how many years have we been married, and I reply, "Twenty-four."  They usually say, "Ahhh.  Then next year is the big year.  Do you have any plans?"

I am blown away. What is wrong with celebrating the 24th Anniversary?  Yes, 25 is big, but we're not there yet.  Why not focus on the year we had?

We've had a few major milestones:  Ryan graduation from high school.  Nick and Mike went to Hawaii.  Ryan and Nick earned their driving permits.  They also had their first jobs.  Among others.  Yes, this list is really about the boys, but that is reflective of our marriage:  family.

Happy 24th Anniversary Eve

Mike & Sheryl 2004

Tonight we spent on our own--a quiet afternoon/evening together.  The boys are with their biggest brother working on the backyard, which yields time for Mike and me.  We had a simple, quiet dinner.  Nothing fancy.  We were happy just spending time together.

It's nice to know that we don't need any hyped-up activity to keep us entertained. With young adults with autism, life is exciting enough.  They keep us going as we never know what they'll will do, or what bureaucratic mess might be thrown at us.

I smile as I write that because autism is a world of its own.  One I could do without, but it is a part of our lives together.  Together, we meet it, head-on.  But it's only a part of our lives.  We keep that perspective.  It does not define us.  We are much more.  We have to be to keep going!  

Happy 24th Approaching

This coming Monday will be our 24th anniversary.  Time to make a toast and celebrate love and family.  We'll keep it simple.  Some relatives and friends.  And the kids.  I thank God for 24 wonderful years!

Mamas On The Run

My mom and me

My mom and I have escaped to her hometown in Michigan.  I was pregnant with Nicholas when I last visited my relatives, 18 years ago.

When I was growing up, my family and I visited Michigan every other year, on average.  Our vacations always included visiting cousins, grandparents, and extended family.  We usually drove throughout the country and stayed with family members.  It was rare to stay at a hotel. The best parts of our vacations were not the activities or sight-seeing tours.  The best parts were being around family, or doing those sight-seeing excursions with family.

I wanted to continue these outings with my own family.  Unfortunately, travelling with kids with autism is difficult as their schedules are interrupted.  Staying with extended family is tough because the relatives don't quite understand what can trigger a meltdown or tantrum.  Relatives are not usually aware of sensory issues or lack of communication skills my boys have.

In the last couple of years, we have started to travel with our boys.  They have learned to adapt well.  I have include them in planning, so they will know what to expect.  They usually look forward to the adventures.

This trip is without the kids.  Unlike most vacations, this trip has a purpose:  to see my Godparents, who are my mom's brother and sister-in-law.  Too many years have sped by, and we are all much older.  Most of our time is spend sitting and chatting, catching up.  Not the type of activity that my boys could endure for long.  So, it's just my mom and me.

photo credit:  Michelle Nicolai-Hoffmeyer

Champions: Everyone Loves A Winner

Cameron

Cameron's baseball team won the championship 24-9.  That may sound as if Cam's team had an easy win.  No such luck.  They worked hard and earned every run.  The game lasted 3 1/2 hours.  The boys played their hearts out.  Stamina, endurance, patience.  All paid off.  It was in the last two innings that Cam's team brought the win home.  The other team seemed to burn out.

Their opponents were worthy. The score in the game was actually very close for most of the game. The lead switched a few times, pending who was up to bat. Suspense loomed.  No win was predictable. We were ahead. We were behind. Parents stood, clapped, and cheered. Then sat in disbelief and shock. Up and down. We got our exercise!!

Some of the umpires' calls were debatable too.  That became a series of lessons of good sportsmanship. Even Cam's run over home plate was a point of discouragement.  We ALL plainly saw Cameron touched home plate seconds before the ball came within reach of the catcher's glove. The ump saw it differently.  Ouch.

The beginning of the season brought together a bunch of kids.  The team had one practice and then three scrimmage games.  This was a different league than Cam's league of last year.  The kids were a bit older and experienced.  Poor Cameron had only one year of baseball under his belt. He was determined to be a good as the rest.

This was a kid who had to relearn how to walk and talk at 13 months. Cameron suffered a major set-back after the MMR shot.  He lost physical coordination, let alone communication.  I was very impressed that he persevered in this sport!

If the first few games were indicative of the season's outcome, Cameron's team should have been at the bottom.  They tied and lost.  And lost badly.  Throughout the weeks, they slowly improved.  Enough to put runs on the score board.  Enough to eek out wins.  Eventually enough to blow the other teams away.

I love what competition has taught Cameron.  Life is tough.  Not everyone gets a trophy.  Wins are earned through slow progress.  Spontaneous gratification is not a given.  Although we love the wins, they are not everything.  How the game is played is vital.  Teamwork is as important as individual effort.  Keeping one's principles in tact is just as valuable as that win!!

Go, Cam!!