Ryan's New Internship: Communication Via Coffee

Imagine having to think of the word, "Hi," and then say it.  Imagine forcing yourself to smile to greet someone.  Imagine remembering to focus your eyes to meet another person's eyes.  Imagine processing all these actions simultaneously.  THEN, imagine preparing yourself to process what the other person will say or do.

For most of us, this is a simple process.  With autism, it is a check list:  how to greet someone!

Yesterday, Ryan started a 12 week internship at a coffee shop specifically designed to train adults with autism.  It is called Beneficial Beans.  Through this internship, Ryan will learn how to make sophisticated coffee drinks, but that is simply a means to teach him about communication, interaction, customer service, etc.  People skills.

Ryan can talk.  In fact, he can be quite articulate.  Other times, he can isolate himself in a crowd and be at peace in his own world.  Like most in the autism realm, connecting with people can be a challenge, let alone mentally exhausting.

My hope is that Ryan will be more at ease when conversing with other people.  That may sound simplistic, but with autism, no encounter with another person is easy.  Maybe, Ryan might even come to enjoy other people's company.

Imagine your son wanting to share his ideas, dreams, goals.  I can't wait to hear what Ryan thinks!  As of now, I can only imagine...

No Job? No College? Why?

Ryan assisting new student

School is back in session for my youngest three boys. The younger two are in high school, and Ryan is going to which college?  He isn't sure how to answer. Then they ask, "Well, where do you work?" Awkward silence follows.

In the typical world, a person graduates from high school, and then he attends college or gets a job. Friends and family are curious and wish to share in what's going on, and they ask, "What college...?" In the life of an adult with autism, that can be a frustrating conversation.

Why?  The set expectation does not apply to the autistic world.

I have listened to these conversations from a distance. Ryan usually does muster enough information to answer questions.  Nonetheless, the other person is still perplexed because Ryan isn't following the "expected" format. He's not going to college.  He's not working.  However, he's on the road to both.

We have developed a description of what Ryan's status is.  Ryan attends a private trade school.  He is learning skills to be an imaging artist.  Currently, he is interning to assist new students.  This can lead to a paid position as a PIT (photoshop imaging tech) crew member.

Life is hard enough when it doesn't fit into a preconceived idea.  It's even more difficult to try to explain the "what I'm doing" let alone the "why I'm doing" this.  Now add the lack of communication that is symptomatic of autism.  Double whammy!  Yet, Ryan perseveres!

Photo credit: RMG Imaging Artists

Champions: Everyone Loves A Winner

Cameron

Cameron's baseball team won the championship 24-9.  That may sound as if Cam's team had an easy win.  No such luck.  They worked hard and earned every run.  The game lasted 3 1/2 hours.  The boys played their hearts out.  Stamina, endurance, patience.  All paid off.  It was in the last two innings that Cam's team brought the win home.  The other team seemed to burn out.

Their opponents were worthy. The score in the game was actually very close for most of the game. The lead switched a few times, pending who was up to bat. Suspense loomed.  No win was predictable. We were ahead. We were behind. Parents stood, clapped, and cheered. Then sat in disbelief and shock. Up and down. We got our exercise!!

Some of the umpires' calls were debatable too.  That became a series of lessons of good sportsmanship. Even Cam's run over home plate was a point of discouragement.  We ALL plainly saw Cameron touched home plate seconds before the ball came within reach of the catcher's glove. The ump saw it differently.  Ouch.

The beginning of the season brought together a bunch of kids.  The team had one practice and then three scrimmage games.  This was a different league than Cam's league of last year.  The kids were a bit older and experienced.  Poor Cameron had only one year of baseball under his belt. He was determined to be a good as the rest.

This was a kid who had to relearn how to walk and talk at 13 months. Cameron suffered a major set-back after the MMR shot.  He lost physical coordination, let alone communication.  I was very impressed that he persevered in this sport!

If the first few games were indicative of the season's outcome, Cameron's team should have been at the bottom.  They tied and lost.  And lost badly.  Throughout the weeks, they slowly improved.  Enough to put runs on the score board.  Enough to eek out wins.  Eventually enough to blow the other teams away.

I love what competition has taught Cameron.  Life is tough.  Not everyone gets a trophy.  Wins are earned through slow progress.  Spontaneous gratification is not a given.  Although we love the wins, they are not everything.  How the game is played is vital.  Teamwork is as important as individual effort.  Keeping one's principles in tact is just as valuable as that win!!

Go, Cam!!

Ryan and Nick Have Jobs

"Do you like working with kids?" came the unexpected question.

Ryan tried to suppress a smirk that overcame him. "Yes!"  He beamed.

By the end of the short conversation, which is very typical of my son with autism, Ryan had a job working with kids who would be getting pictures with the Easter Bunny.  It was a temporary, minimum wage job at the local mall.  A normal, first-time job for any teenager.

I was surprised.  And thrilled!

A couple of days later, at Nick's insistence, Nick was also hired.

A friend of a friend, who is a manager of this photo set-up, simply thought Ryan would be good with kids, so she asked me.  I knew Ryan loved kids, and I told her to ask Ryan.  I definitely wanted the question to come from her and not me.  MOM does enough to get Ryan involved in a lot of things--whether he likes it or not.  It'd be much better for her to initiate the process, and to not have me involved.

So Ryan and Nick have been on the job for several days now.  They struggle with communicating with the kids and customers, but they are quick learners.  Their boss informed me that she just has to tell them once, and they pick up whatever she is teaching them.

Now they wait for their first paycheck with great anticipation!!

Mom's Homework: Communication and Paperwork

School started last Wednesday, Aug 7.  I am not a huge fan of school.  I get a lot of homework.  People laugh when I say that, but I really don't find humor in it.  I'm not going to classes, so why do I have homework?  Someone has to be my sons' advocate!  I am not even going to mention the forms that have to be filled out annually.

To start, I make sure every teacher knows that my sons have autism.  Two years ago, I didn't do this, and it took the case manager a month to get the IEP out to the teachers.  After a few weeks of school, I could see Ryan struggling in a class, and I wrote the teacher about his having autism and the accommodations in the IEP.  She had no clue that Ryan had autism, and she asked, "Won't he ask questions like everyone else?"  My response was (sigh), "No.  He has autism.  He doesn't like to talk, let alone ask questions."

I learned my lesson, that I was right, to take the initiative and communicate with the teachers.  The one year I didn't became a difficult year, well, more difficult than normal.

Back to this year.  Last Monday morning I was up and at the computer by 7:10am.  At 7:16am I sent my first email.  By 7:47am I had written 5 emails to teachers, explaining issues that Nick was already experiencing, mostly due to a schedule mishap.  Someone had left his third period blank.  Most classes by this time had been filled, so to find an appropriate class was next to impossible.  Once filled, Nick was told that he'd keep all his current teachers.  Relief.  A few seconds later, he was told that one teacher would be switched.

By that time Nick had already processed that the teachers would remain the same.  For him to process and switch back to the issue, which was just concluded, was missed.  That happened last week, so now I'm trying to see what we can do to get that one teacher back on Nick's schedule.

No communication was given to any teachers involved, except what I had sent out.  Some teachers responded back quickly.  By 10am I had sent and responded to about 15 emails.  That's not counting phone calls and voice mails.

The teachers were grateful for the communication.  They were very willing to work with Nick until the issue was resolved.  Thankfully, Nick decided to keep the classes he had.  He was finally able to tell me that it was the change itself.  Once he went through the new schedule a few days, he was fine.

I am thankful that the teachers were patient and understanding, but it took my time and effort to communicate with the teachers about Nick.  That is my homework!