Ryan Turns 19

Ryan's favorite ice cream

Today is Ryan's birthday.  He's been counting down the days for over two weeks.  I think he is more excited about turning 19 than he was 18.  Wonder why?

Could be many reasons!

I think there is less stress in Ryan's life.  He graduated last May, so he's not in school full time.  He starts his college classes tomorrow.  He's only taking a few classes, and he's chosen them.  Unlike high school, where there were standards and requirements, Ryan is taking college slowly.  As of now, Ryan is enrolled in 3 college classes, but he's taking one class at a time.

Ryan is in control of his time.  He continues to write his book.  He's writing all day, every day.  He doesn't have to deal with a lot of people, so less communication is required of him.

Ryan has less commitments, but he's trying new things.  At his pace.  Ryan's learning to drive.  He is exploring new communication technology.  He now has a computer, so this technology can open a new world of learning for him.

Ryan's also accomplished a lot this year.  Besides graduating, Ryan spoke at a regional autism conference, played on a competitive team sport, and passed his drivers permit test. Those are a few highlights.

Of course, Mom and Dad still push Ryan in adult responsibilities as Ryan yearns for complete independence.  Ryan has grown and matured a lot this past year.  He seems to be getting comfortable in his own skin.  We are very proud of him.

Ryan doesn't know what he's going to pursue, career-wise.  Lots to think about there for any 19 year old, let alone a teenager with autism.  However, today, we're celebrating.

Like all of us, Ryan is a work in progress!  Happy Birthday...

Sweet Sixteen Is Nicholas

Nick's 16 with Ryan, Mike, and Cam

Today is Nick's birthday.  We celebrated yesterday because Dad had a day off.  We kept it simple.  Nick chose a restaurant specifically for their gluten free pizza crusts and gluten free desserts.  He opened a few presents at home, and he was very happy with his new treasures.

Nick is now very happy that he is one step closer to getting his driving permit. He is taking drivers ed in school, but I'm not sure when he'll get that permit.  That is one decision we won't worry about today.

His band class sang happy birthday to him this morning.  Otherwise, Nick reported that it was a quiet, yet fun day.  We have a few little surprises left for tonight.  I didn't let him open every gift yesterday.

Happy Birthday, Nick!

Happy Birthday, Ryan!

Ryan turned 18 over the weekend.  It was a happy occasion.  I started planning the day about a week ahead of time.  Having autism, Ryan doesn't have a lot of friends.  He talks with people, if they ask him a question.  However, extended conversations still elude Ryan.  Therefore, it is difficult to cultivate and maintain typical friendships.  Since this was a milestone, I wanted it to be memorable for Ryan.

I surprised him in the morning by taking him out for a birthday breakfast.  A local restaurant offers a free breakfast on the actual birth date.  He had no problem with that.  Ryan then visited a fellow home schooling family.  I knew Ryan wanted to go to Benihana's for dinner, but I had other plans in store for him.  So we went to lunch there.  He felt at ease since we had been there recently.  He gave a big smile when the camera came around, as compared to the photo taken about a month ago.  Ryan doesn't usually smile with such ease.

In the evening I ran some errands with the boys to keep them guessing where we were going.  I was successful for most of the ride.  Eventually, they guessed where we were destined, but they didn't guess a surprise party with extended family members.  We had a wonderful pool party with cousins and relatives.  Ryan enjoyed the surprise and the festivities.

I was very thankful that most relatives came.  It is very hard for a parent to celebrate events for teens with autism.  My sister's comment illustrated the point.  Her daughter asked why Ryan wasn't celebrating with his friends? My sister had to explain to her daughter that autism can inhibit communication with others. So even kids who know Matthew quite well don't fully comprehend what it's like socially for a teen with autism.  That circle of friends that seems so typical of teenagers doesn't necessarily exist for these autistic kids.

It's always a question for the parents:  how to fill that void?  I'm not sure there is an answer.

For now, I'm glad that Ryan had a happy birthday, and we continue to work on conversation skills. 

Cameron Turns Twelve

It's been a week since we signed off all special education services for Cam.  When we told him that he would no longer receive services, he smiled and insisted on a "high five".  Later in the week we went hiking.  He couldn't resist climbing on a rock "not too far from the trail".  He struck the pose that just summarizes his spirit:  I can do anything!

He is a spunky character.  That has recently been our challenge, and I can see that he will continually push the boundaries.  I never wish to break his spirit, but boy, his spirit definitely needs to be channelled.

He is a curious creature, and temptation can lead him into trouble.  Being the youngest of five brothers, he tries to keep up with them, and that isn't always a good thing.  Making choices without some much needed maturity does lead him astray, so teaching him is always a constant.  Absolutely no rest on my part.

Today Cam is 12.  So I look forward to another year of surprises and growth from our youngest.  I never thought I'd see the day when Zach is full of life, free from autism.

Happy Birthday, Cameron!