Grandparents and Grandsons

Stuart, Ryan, Nick, Cam

Nothing like four boys to keep grandparents young!

Sherry and Tony, Mike's mom and husband, came to stay with our boys while we were in Alaska and California.  Although they are in their seventies, they kept our boys busy.  "Busy" didn't necessarily mean going places and doing things to keep the boys entertained.  It was more of keeping schedules and visiting.  Even Ryan and Stu came to visit frequently.  That is something that Ryan does not do much--visit with people.

Tony and Sherry

I don't know too many grandparents who would want to come and stay for two weeks with teenage boys, particularly with special needs.  To help Sherry out, I had a calendar written out for her to avoid guess work.  The boys and I completed the calendar the week prior as the regular, daily events unfolded.  I was amazed how much we forgot to write down at first.  Sherry constantly referred to that calendar to keep life smooth!

The boys were in constant motion between summer school, work schedules, and social outings.  They also had to cook when Grandma was not feeling too well.  Sherry informed me that they stepped up to the plate, literally, to make dinner. Games, movies, lunches out filled in whatever free time they had.

When Mike and I spoke to people on our trip, they asked if we worried about our boys.  I replied, "No! They are good kids, and they are in good hands!"

Thank you, Sherry and Tony.

photo credits:  Sherry

To My Sons' Grandparents--On Grandparents Day

Thank God for grandparents!! They spoil our kids.  They give forbidden treats behind our backs.  They let the kiddos stay up late.  Grandmas might even bake gluten free cookies for them.

For parents with kids with autism, grandparents can be more than the mellow, nice version of the people who raised us.  Grandparents can offer wisdom and reprieve to parents with shaken nerves and overtaxed brains. 

My Mom

The flip side is that grandparents can give suggestions (or criticize) and cause more stress, although their intentions may have been good.  Grandparents may only see their grandkids with autism occasionally and not understand the intricacies of daily life.  Visits can be bittersweet.  Taking time to chat can be a hardship, but constant routine is necessary in the life of autism.

My Dad

In my case, my parents are about 40 miles away--far enough to breath, close enough to help.  They know most of the tasks and goals of my sons with autism.  This last summer they took on the task of helping the boys passing their drivers permit test.  Goal accomplished.  With LOTS of patience.

Mike's Mom

My husband's parents live in another state.  Their visits are fewer.  They can see more distinct progression or regression; something that we might miss.  They always want to know what's going on, to help the boys.  Sometimes it's hard to describe everything concisely, but we try. 

Mike and his Dad

Both sets of grandparents help at family gatherings and events.  Loud noises and strange people always stress out the boys, so having those extra eyes and hands of grandparents can help ease anxiety--both of the boys and me.

I'm very grateful to both sets of grandparents.  Happy Grandparents Day!!