Happy 4th!

Several weeks back, Cameron, Nicholas, and I met up with my oldest sister's classmate, William DeLuna.  He captains a fleet of boats.  He gave us a first class tour of the harbor and beyond.  The boys had never been sailing out in open water, so this was an adventure.  It did not take long for the boys to feel at home, and they dared to ask to steer the vessel.  The good captain agreed, and he was quite impressed with their navigation skills.  He exclaimed, "They're naturals!"  No sea-sickness.  No squeamish stomachs.  Just a lot of fun!

I do have to give Captain Bill DeLuna kudos for taking us.  I advised him ahead of time of their history with autism, and that I had no idea how the boys would react,  Nick had severe sensory issues, and his communication could still be hampered at times.  Cameron had similar concerns, but no lack of communication.  The  Captain had no problems telling them what was permitted and what was not.  He went through the safety drill and rules.  Then the fun commenced.

We saw several dolphins, and we hoped for a whale or two.  The boys were thrilled to climb all over the boat and watch the sails go up and down.  They even had to dodge the sails a few times.  No one had to yell, "Man overboard," so I was happy.

I was totally surprised that Nick and Cam took so easily to the ocean.  They felt at ease and thoroughly enjoyed the trip.  Incredible!

My Oldest Turns 30

Michael is 30 today.  I often wonder what life was like for him, growing up with younger siblings with autism.  For several years, the younger boys were undiagnosed.  From my perspective, Michael was a strong support for his younger brothers, whatever problems they had.

Michael probably had to bear more than what he should have.  He set the example for my younger sons.  If Mike did something that was questionable, he heard about it.  Kids with autism learn quickly by example.  Usually, the things I wouldn't want repeated would be the phrases that they'd learn without effort.

We set a high standard for Michael.  Good grades, good behavior, good everything.  He usually did not disappoint us.  He was valedictorian at his 8th grade graduation.  He aspired to play sports.  He got his first job at 16, when he could drive.

He married young, but he was a devoted husband and father.  Now, at 30, he is much like his father--a very strong, reliable man.  If a problem is presented, he solves them.  If someone asks for help, he obliges.  Better yet, if Michael perceives an issue, he addresses it.

We didn't parent our younger kids as we did Michael.  He observed, "Mom, you never let me get away with that."  No, parenting with autistic kids is very different.  Our standards changed.  For example, the idea of straights As in school went out the window.  We didn't care about grades.  We cared about mastering the skill, task, or lesson only.  No grades.  Yes, our standards changed.  They become specialized.  We focused on success per each child, not a pre-set standard.

Michael's early years were sparked by a young, inquisitive curiosity--much like his adult years are sparked by challenging, demanding responsibilities.  He meets them with courage.

Happy 30th, Michael.

On The Second Day Of Christmas

We went shopping for some new items for the Christmas Tree.  We also purchased wrapping paper and Christmas cards.  Why now?  I like the 50% discount off the regular purchase price of these items!!  I usually send out cards after Christmas, and I'll use the solid color wrapping paper throughout the year.

We started celebrating the 12 Days of Christmas several years ago for many reasons.  I've blogged the whys and wherefores in years past.  I will reiterate the main reason here:  it is much easier for kids with autism to handle.  Less is more.  The less to process, the more enjoyable for all of us.

We stretch out the gifts and activities for 12 days.  That might sound expensive, but it really isn't.  We have a box for each day, and the gift is for the entire family.  For the next two weeks, we'll spend more time together.  The gifts are usually simple, but a few might be extravagant.  They always focus on family.

Best way to spend our effort, time, and money:  family!