What Was Public Transit Like For Teens With Autism?

Adventurous.  Courageous.  Thrilling.  Suspenseful.  Confusing.  Just a few words that describe our voyage on the bus and light rail.  Of course, it also depends on which boy answers that question.

We went with a group arranged by AZ Assist which is a local group formed to help young adults transition to adulthood.  AZ Assist had planned this "field trip", complete with a "tour guide" from Valley Metro, the company who runs the transportation.  There were many people of different ages.  It was a bit noisy for Ryan and Nick, but they were committed to the journey on which we had embarked.

We stepped on the bus and sat in the back as there was no room to sit in the front.  We sat on the very last row, which reverberated with the air conditioner.  It was so loud that we could not hear what our tour guide was saying in the front of the bus.  Ryan and Nick were able to survive the noise by enjoying the scenery outside the windows.  It was dark, so we could see all the lights in businesses that we passed.

Young Cam asked how do we let the bus driver know when we want to get off?  BINGO.  Good question.  Cam said he could yell to the driver.  I have no doubt he could, but not the best answer.  We found small red buttons on poles along the bus that said STOP. Someone pushed it, and the bus came to a stop at the next scheduled stop along its route.

After a short ride on the bus, our group of about 50 people vacated the bus.  We waited at the light rail station for a few minutes.  We learned how to purchase and validate a pass on the machine. Then we entered a train-like vehicle.  It was a quiet ride compared to the bus.  The boys thoroughly enjoyed the light rail more than the bus.  We showed the boys the map of the light rail, so they knew how to find the stops.  There is no access to the driver on the light rail, so the boys need to know where to find information.

About ten minutes later, we emerged from the light rail train. We had finished our quest.  On our trip home, I asked the boys what they thought about the trip.  Ryan said if was fine, but he declined to share more.  Nick said he was confused, but he offered a solution.  He said he would learn to drive a car.  Cam said it was fun to push the button on the bus.

Obviously, this was a new adventure, and we will need to repeat it.  This was a trip out of their comfort zone, but it was a step in the direction of independence.

Life Skills: Public Transit

I took the boys on a life skills quest yesterday evening. We took public transportation, ie valley metro. We went on the bus then transferred to the light rail in Tempe. One son gets it. The other is more confused. The youngest figured everything out within minutes. It was a great experience because I'm really getting to see how the boys might respond as adults on their own.

Adaptation

The whole family has been on vacation since Sunday (so I won't be writing directly about my past "breaks" from the family today).  There have been minor catastrophes along the way, but the boys are showing great resilience.  On Sunday, our air conditioner went out in the van.  Not fun when driving through the desert of Arizona and California in the afternoon.  I purchased small hand-held fans, which helped a bit.   However,  it was 109 degrees outside.  The boys understood that it was going to be a hot ride, and they didn't complain.

We tried to get the van fixed when we arrived in Northern CA.  Unfortunately, the dealership had to order the part, and it would take a few days to arrive.  Consequently, we had to get a rental car.    So now the boys are riding an an unfamiliar car.  Again, with minimal stress.  The car is smaller than the van, so teen boys are having to adapt to smaller quarters.  Adaptation is not easy for autistic kids, yet they seem to be handling the transitions well.

I don't think this would have been possible even two years ago.  The boys' therapies have paid off incredibly.   We have tried to push the transitions and sensory issues with baby steps through the years, ie getting used to light, sounds, and textures as well as changes in schedules and routines.  We have talked with the boys as each of these current changes have happened, trying to ease them into the new circumstances.  So through the therapies, including speech, they are doing very well so far.

Today we will be traveling in this smaller car to the coast and Redwoods, spending a lot of time in the car.  Twill be interesting to see if they stay calm!

Beach: Solace and Peace

Why the beach?  Well, it holds happy memories for me.  I grew up within a few miles from the beach.  Being fair skinned, I never went to the beach to get a tan.  I went for specific reasons or occasions, ie a family reunion, hotdog/marsh mellow roast, or a jog along the coast.

Besides happy memories, the beach is the only place I know that encompasses all the senses:  hearing the waves, feeling the sand, tasting the water, seeing the sunset, and smelling the ocean air.  At first the beach is a place of solace, offering alleviation from stress and strain.  Stay long enough, the beach becomes a place of peace, transforming strife to serenity.

I also find my Creator here.  Although the beach is never silent, the natural sounds and beauty enable me to still my mind.  I find myself in awe of nature, its creation, always leading me to its Creator.

That is where the real journey begins.

Happy Marriage

The first item I need to address is our marriage.  When I have talked about being away from home, most people have jumped to the conclusion that my marriage is in trouble.  Or over.  Neither is the case.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.

We have a happy marriage. I gain strength from my husband.  He is one of the most patient and selfless men I know.  He says that I don't drive him crazy.  That is a wonder in itself.  Probably a miracle.  I drive myself crazy at times.  How can I NOT drive him crazy?  Yet I believe him.  He is a man of great integrity.

Mike has told me a few times that marriage is about acceptance.  He accepts me.  He knows I'll try my best.  My best may be short-lived.  Quite often, it is, but he doesn't need to know exactly how often!

I admire my husband.  He truly amazes me, even after 21 years of marriage.  Next month it will be 22 years.  Not many couples have endured autism, but then again, I am sure there are couples who have endured more than we have.

This isn't about the thresh-hold of our marriage.  It is that we are married.  We are committed to each other.  We love each other.  We trust each other.  That particular vow of "for better or worse"... resonates. 

It's like St Paul says in chapter 14 of his letter to the Corinthians, love is patient; love is kind, et al.

St Paul describes my husband.

Mom-cations: A Medical Necessity

Mike with 2 yr Andrew and 2 day Matt

I am at the beach.  Again.  For the last year I have been taking time out from the hectic life of being a mom.  A mom of special needs kids.  A self-employed mom.  A former-home schooling mom.  An active participant in the school mom.  Not to mention all the entities of just being a mom.

It's been a tough three years actually.  Tougher than some of the other years.  I think it has been the culmination of years of dealing with autism.  A few close friends thought that I might be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, they concurred that I needed a break.

So break I did.  The boys were older, and my husband encouraged me to go for a few days.

What transpired amazed me.  When I was gone, I wanted to do something that I never did at home.  So I took photographs to put in a scrapbook.  The above photo made me laugh and cry.  It was life before autism.  All the hope and joy of having babies are captured in my husband's smile.

As I arranged these photos, I reminisced.  It was therapeutic.  I was quite happy creating a book and remembering those sweet moments of my sons' young lives.  The few days spent away from my family gave me time to breath from the daily grind.  It also gave me a positive outlet.

I return a bit happier and rested, but the boys don't give any quarter in their game of life.  Game face on.

Cameron Turns Twelve

It's been a week since we signed off all special education services for Cam.  When we told him that he would no longer receive services, he smiled and insisted on a "high five".  Later in the week we went hiking.  He couldn't resist climbing on a rock "not too far from the trail".  He struck the pose that just summarizes his spirit:  I can do anything!

He is a spunky character.  That has recently been our challenge, and I can see that he will continually push the boundaries.  I never wish to break his spirit, but boy, his spirit definitely needs to be channelled.

He is a curious creature, and temptation can lead him into trouble.  Being the youngest of five brothers, he tries to keep up with them, and that isn't always a good thing.  Making choices without some much needed maturity does lead him astray, so teaching him is always a constant.  Absolutely no rest on my part.

Today Cam is 12.  So I look forward to another year of surprises and growth from our youngest.  I never thought I'd see the day when Zach is full of life, free from autism.

Happy Birthday, Cameron!