Exactly 21 years ago, Mike and I took our wedding vows. We were both 25. While we knew that these vows were serious, we never could have imagined what they entailed. I don't think anyone truly "understands" what marriage is, when stating those vows.
Mike and I had five years of marriage before our life with autism began. We then lived through six years of dealing with the symptoms before any of our children were diagnosed with autism. Then within six months, our youngest three were diagnosed with autism. Rather devastating.
Eight months later I was pregnant. I was scared that this next child would also have autism. How much could a mother endure? How much could the parents endure? The marriage? Unfortunately, I miscarried. Again the same questions. I found that as I grieved for our miscarried child, I also grieved for our other kids. Their lives were changed. So was ours.
One of the vows we took included the "for better or for worse". Autism fits both categories. Never did we think that our children would be diagnosed with disabilities. No one prepared us for the financial, emotional, and spiritual burden that specials needs kids bring. We learned via "on the job training".
We have gone through all the ups and downs together. The key has been acceptance. Simple as that sounds; marriage is about acceptance. We accept each other as we are; we accept our kids for who they are. We help each other to live to our greatest potential; we help our kids to live to their greatest potential as well.
To express the self sacrifice on both parts of wife and husband, well, it is impossible. It is just what we do. Our kids have demanded more and more from us, and we give and give. Sometimes, I don't think we have more strength, yet somehow it comes. I give much credit to the power of prayer that we've endured autism. Ultimately, it is because we love each other, that we give--to each other and our kids.
Here's to a Happy 21st Anniversary and many more.
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