Good Lord, Really??

Really?  I look at the sky as I sigh.  This time I say it aloud, "Really?"

Yes, I'm asking the Good Lord if this is what he wants me to face.  Like I can really do this.  I am not trained in this.  I don't know what I am doing.  No map.  No guide.  No manual.

"This" in the last paragraph could be anything.  It could be autism, government agencies, doctors, etc.  So many aspects of autism and teenagers emerge, and I have no idea where to even begin.

I don't like guessing.  I'd rather know what needs to be done and just do it. I like to see end results.  I also don't mind if someone else sees the finished product and gives me a "thumbs up".  I will listen to the "thumbs down", but I prefer the former option.

With autism, there is no finish line.  Tis always a work in progress.  And these are boys, actually, young men now.  Not some project or task.  There are no days off.  Always going.  Always something.

I've told some friends that I really think God has mixed me up with someone who can handle this life I lead.  I'm just waiting for this person to show up.  Anyways, my friends and I laugh.  I think we all can feel that way.  Some aspects of life are simply bigger than we are, and we don't have all the answers.

We just keep pluggin' along.  And I ask the Good Lord for guidance.

photo credit:  Phillip F Chavez, PhD  http://masculinespirituality.com/site/