A- Is Not Good Enough

A younger Nick

A few years ago Nick received his report card.  Straight As.  Most kids would be ecstatic.  Not Nick.  There was a problem with one of his As.  It had a minus sign after it.  Well, another A had a plus after it.

Yes, Nick had 5 As, 1 A-, and 1 A+.  He was not happy with that report card.  Sad.  The obsessive/compulsive aspect of autism shows itself!  Nick simply stated, "I want straight As. No pluses nor minuses.  Just As."

He could not get over that A-.  It just wasn't good enough.  He didn't try hard enough.  That lead to him thinking that he's not smart enough.  And the thought process did a downward spiral.  He started doubting everything he did.  "Is this good enough?"

At moments he was ballistic.  He brought it up constantly.  I had to reassure him that he had done well!

I spent days trying to get Nick to see that his grades were great.  More importantly, Nick said that he loved school, and he was learning a lot of new things.  That is what Mike and I strive to encourage.  We really don't care about the grades on the report card.  We want our boys to love learning and seek knowledge.

With today's emphasis on SAT scores and standardized tests, let alone report cards, we continue to stress to Nick that these items may be important to the world, but HE is what matters to us.  What is he doing?  Is he putting his best effort forward?  Does he like what he's doing?  All these will carry over to his adult life.

This year Nick received a C in Algebra II in the first semester.  He is proud that he brought it to a B.  Again, I told him that I glad he's happy, but what matters most is that he is learning the math. He reflected that he loves math better than any grade, and he wants to be a math teacher.