Mom's Homework: Communication and Paperwork

School started last Wednesday, Aug 7.  I am not a huge fan of school.  I get a lot of homework.  People laugh when I say that, but I really don't find humor in it.  I'm not going to classes, so why do I have homework?  Someone has to be my sons' advocate!  I am not even going to mention the forms that have to be filled out annually.

To start, I make sure every teacher knows that my sons have autism.  Two years ago, I didn't do this, and it took the case manager a month to get the IEP out to the teachers.  After a few weeks of school, I could see Ryan struggling in a class, and I wrote the teacher about his having autism and the accommodations in the IEP.  She had no clue that Ryan had autism, and she asked, "Won't he ask questions like everyone else?"  My response was (sigh), "No.  He has autism.  He doesn't like to talk, let alone ask questions."

I learned my lesson, that I was right, to take the initiative and communicate with the teachers.  The one year I didn't became a difficult year, well, more difficult than normal.

Back to this year.  Last Monday morning I was up and at the computer by 7:10am.  At 7:16am I sent my first email.  By 7:47am I had written 5 emails to teachers, explaining issues that Nick was already experiencing, mostly due to a schedule mishap.  Someone had left his third period blank.  Most classes by this time had been filled, so to find an appropriate class was next to impossible.  Once filled, Nick was told that he'd keep all his current teachers.  Relief.  A few seconds later, he was told that one teacher would be switched.

By that time Nick had already processed that the teachers would remain the same.  For him to process and switch back to the issue, which was just concluded, was missed.  That happened last week, so now I'm trying to see what we can do to get that one teacher back on Nick's schedule.

No communication was given to any teachers involved, except what I had sent out.  Some teachers responded back quickly.  By 10am I had sent and responded to about 15 emails.  That's not counting phone calls and voice mails.

The teachers were grateful for the communication.  They were very willing to work with Nick until the issue was resolved.  Thankfully, Nick decided to keep the classes he had.  He was finally able to tell me that it was the change itself.  Once he went through the new schedule a few days, he was fine.

I am thankful that the teachers were patient and understanding, but it took my time and effort to communicate with the teachers about Nick.  That is my homework!

The Battle Begins: Trust The Parent?

The first Monday morning of summer school I went to the school early to talk with the computer teacher, Mr. L. I informed him that my two boys had autism and IEPs (Individual Educational Plans-- big name for the educational goals that teachers and parents set for the child). The teacher said that he would get everything from the computer. I offered my cell phone, and he replied that was on the computer too.

The first week of summer school passed. Nick was very frustrated. He had a D+. If anyone knows Nick, he or she would know something was terribly wrong. This is the child that is the perfectionist. Back in March he had one A+, three As, and one A-. He was NOT happy because he did not have straight As. The A- was not good enough. The next report card showed five As. Nick was happy.

So this D+ was not good.

Ryan had a B. Ryan is the one who can wait til the Earth fades before pulling out a book to study.

I tried to figure this out. I asked the boys several questions. I received some conflicting answers, but what was clear was that the special accommodations that were listed on the IEPs were not being implemented. Nick and Ryan are suppose to get extended time on assignments and tests. That was not happening. Nick needed that time.

The following Monday morning my husband and I showed up with copies of the accommodation pages from the boys' IEPs. Mr. L refused to accept the pages. He said that, since these papers did not come from the administrative office, he could not accept them. There were legalities involved.

I was stunned. NEVER in my life had a teacher refused these papers. In fact, teachers usually expressed gratitude, "Thanks. It usually takes the office days or weeks to get these to us."

Mr. L asked me if I understood. The Mama Bear in me challenged him, "No." I took a breath. "No, I don't. I've never had a teacher question my integrity before." I had to restrain myself...

My husband and I walked to the administration office, and we talked with the principal. She said, "You need to understand that we have 1300 students here. It's going to take time." I bit my tongue.

The next day I made an appointment with the vice principal and the teacher. The vice principal, Mr. Z, was a teacher that knew from Nick's junior high. When we arrived at the classroom, Mr. L was busy at the computer. We sat down. Mr. Z asked if I brought copies of the boys' IEP so he could read them. I laughed. Here is an administrator asking ME, the untrustworthy parent, if I had copies. He couldn't get copies from the computer in the administration office? He was going to TRUST ME, the parent? How daring!

The meeting was successful, but I couldn't get over the irony of the teacher vs the vice principal. One refusing the IEP from me, and the other wanting a copy from me.

Just another day in the life of being an advocate for my kids in the school system!

photo credit:TI CC-40 (Set: 30)