Ryan Turns 22

Ryan celebrates 22 years today.  What a young man he has become!

He has been living on his own for almost 18 months now.  We're still working on some life skills, but he does have some success living in his own apartment.  He is currently looking for a job to get him financially independent.  Consequently,he's learning to interview and has to speak about himself.  That is no easy task.  His want for earning his own keep is motivation to talk.  Yea.

So while the age of 22 brings no "milestone" that society would recognize, we are absolutely aware of Ryan's 22nd year and living on his own.

Congrats, Ryan.  We are proud of you!

Autism and Interviews: Time Marches On!

Oceanside Beach, 2012

It's been a week since Ryan's interview for a scholarship.  We have not heard anything.  That doesn't seem to bother Ryan.  I, however, want to know.

Alas, we've been busy doing other things.  Today, Ryan and I filled out required paperwork for his SSI application.  At least, we know that is in progress.  That is another story.  All this government bureaucracy is time consuming.  Tis a lesson in patience, and I've learned that the lessons in patience take the longest.

Sigh.

So I try to be patient.  Easiest way to do that is to picture the beach.  Sunset too.  Tis timeless.

Autism and Interviews: Mindless Mess

A serious Ryan, after interview

So Ryan didn't want to go to college, but he acknowledged that getting a job or writing to support himself was going to be difficult.

We opened the door to another thought.  No college.  What else could bring Ryan to his goal of independence?  A trade school?  An apprenticeship?  Again, Ryan had a perplexing issue to face.  Really, it was impossible.

Ryan has a difficult time relating to anything without a reference point.  To name an occupation, career, job, class, or anything is meaningless to Ryan.  Unless he is familiar with it.  So we spend hours trying to find examples for Ryan.  Research on the computer amounted to little success.

We kept coming back to classes.  Any class.  One class.  Just something that might spark an interest.  No degree or career in mind.  Just a class.

I took him online, and we visited a local college website.  I brought up writing classes.  Ryan narrowed the search to include online classes only.  I asked why.  He responded that he didn't want to talk.  He wasn't ready to talk.

New issue.  Well, not so new.  We know Ryan doesn't like to talk with people.  However, HE expressed that he's not ready for college.  That was a BIG step.

We found an online beginning writing class.  SUCCESS.

Then he was interested in the scholarship, and the deadline was a few weeks away.

Autism and Interviews: Mindblowing!

Ryan with a smirk, after interview

So what did we do to get Ryan to the scholarship interview?  Twas a long process just to get to this point.  Many, many steps.

First step was convincing Ryan to apply.  Ryan has expressed that he doesn't want to go to college.  Ryan wants to write his book.  I am fine with him writing his book.  I really like the fact that he can write.  It is an outlet for him--to create and express himself.  For a teen with autism, any outlet for creativity and expression is awesome!

Back to college.  I really don't care if Ryan goes to college.  I want him to have a productive, happy, full life, doing what he wishes to do.  Ryan wishes to be independent.  How is that going to happen?  How is HE going to make it happen?  In Ryan's words, "I'm not sure."

Two years ago, Mike and I started to encourage Ryan to think about potential careers.  After months, we concluded that was too big a step.  We then narrowed the thought to jobs.  What type of job would Ryan want to do?  That still was too foreign to Ryan.  We fine-tuned our focus to classes.  What classes would Ryan enjoy?

None of these worked, ultimately.

We changed the approach.  We told Ryan he could not stay at our house and "be independent".  We asked Ryan to define what independent meant to him.  Eventually, he said, "Do everything on my own."  Steps.  We then wrote down what he meant by everything.  Finally, we hit money.  He wants to be financially free from us.  How?  He wants to write. 

Could he support himself with writing?  How much money would he need?  We required him to write a budget, which needed to include rent, utilities, and food.  Then there was transportation, entertainment, clothes, haircuts, etc.  Ryan realized he would need a lot of money, more specifically, a steady income.

More steps.

We then expanded a little.  Would writing produce that income?  How many professional writers lived entirely on their income from their written works?  Ryan could name one.  After research, he found that she didn’t live on her writings until she produced a book about a kid named Harry Potter.  That took a few years for her to acquire that income.

More steps to follow.