Courage To Try

My sons are my heroes.  Case study: Nick.

Nick has been invited to go ice skating tonight.  He accepted the invitation. Then he turned to me and asked, "What do I do?"

Nick has never been skating.  No ice skating, roller skating, or roller blading.  For most of his youth, we have focused on his general coordination and balance as well as sensory and tactile issues.  Nick was in first grade before he could tolerate shoes.  He was in fifth or sixth grade before he could wear long sleeve shirts or long pants without prior conditioning.  Nick had adaptive PE for most of grade school.  Physical and occupational therapies were weekly occurrences until high school.  Activities like skating were beyond what we ever thought Nick could do!

Today, Nick's big brother, Mike, has lent Nick roller blades.  I have spent the time finding how-to ice skate videos online and then implementing the concepts with roller blades.  No, they are not the same, but the idea of balance is similar.  For a kid who has not done any skating, this type of motion is unfathomable.  However, Nick will not be deterred.

We started on carpet.  Then we moved out to the patio.  I led him.  He tried alone.  He fell.  A few times.  Two hours later, he's moving on his own.  Not graceful, but independent.  He has taken one break, only because his little brother wanted to try.

Nick has put the skates back on and has been alone for about 30 minutes, just skating back and forth on the patio.  Well, more of pushing and pulling himself, but he's moving a bit better.  All within a few hours.

I can't believe he is so determined to learn so quickly, and go with peers to do something new.  He truly is courageous.  So many people fear failure and embarrassment.  Nick's desire to go out with friends and potentially have fun outweighs his concern of any negative outcome. That's courage!

Hugs

My sister-in-law wrote, "Never under estimate the power of a hug. This simple gesture is not really simple at all. Its complexity in action and response makes it one of the strongest forces in the world, making it heal almost anything!"

A hug is how we found out about deep pressure, which helps relieve sensory meltdowns when my boys were young.  It was one of those days when I was hanging onto sanity by a thread.  Ryan couldn't talk at that time.  He wanted something and was going into a ballistic tantrum.  I couldn't figure out what he wanted.

At the same time, Nick was hungry and needed to be fed.  Both kids chimed out, "MAMA!"

I gave Nick a quick snack, so I could focus on Ryan.

I was in tears, trying to figure out what Ryan wanted.  I couldn't solve the mystery.  I ended up just hugging him really tight. At first, Ryan resisted.  He didn't like to be touched, let alone hugged.  There were dents in the wall from Ryan leaning backwards to get away from people who wanted to hug him.

Within a few moments, we both calmed down.  Then he hugged me.  He was about four years old.  I received my first hug from Ryan.

Later I mentioned this to Ryan's adaptive PE teacher.  She said they have weighted vests to help keep the kiddos calm.  The physical therapist also said that deep pressure helps.  She showed me how to apply it, and it worked every time.

O Happy Day!

Ryan about to serve

In the midst of trying to resolve issues, there is a bright light.  AND did we celebrate.

Ryan and Nick played in their first tennis match on their high school tennis team.  Ryan tried cross country, but the endurance was too much.  I bet the desert heat didn't help during the summer either.  Nick did track and field in junior high, but his heart belonged to an event that he didn't get to do.

Mike and I have introduced various sports in the past.  Some were too expensive to continue.  Others just didn't capture the boys' interest.  So why tennis?

Nick returning a serve

My parents have played tennis for as long as I can remember.  I tried playing, but I spent more time running after the balls that went over the fence than playing on any court.  The boys had a few lessons from their grandparents when the boys were very little.  What made it stick this time?  I don't know.  I don't underestimate that the girls' team might have some influence.  The girls and boys' tennis teams practice at the same time.  Hmmm.

What I do know is this is a HUGE milestone for the boys.  Many years ago, the boys had several issues to overcome.  Nick couldn't stand to wear socks, let alone shoes.  As they developed autism, their gait became abnormal.  Walking and running were dangerous.  They lost their balance easily.  Ryan ran with his eyes closed.  I was told this was a sensory issue.

Ryan serving, Nick at the net

I became a soccer mom of therapy.  Days on end of traveling from school to therapies--physical and occupational therapies (among other therapies).  I made sure they had adaptive PE in school.  Years of therapy.  Miles of driving.  With no guarantee of improvement.  Just hope.

Today is hope fulfilled.

Coach W with Nick

Ryan and Nick played in a real sport at school. Their matches were even next to each other on the court. They played in the singles and doubles.  They were actually the doubles team.  The coach guided them at times.  Otherwise, they played.  On their own.

Those years of therapies have paid off.  My boys may have a hobby for life!  Priceless.