Autism Concern: When The Parents Are Gone Part II

Will my kids be able to function independently when I'm gone?  Another wonderful question parents of a special needs kid faces.  I'm not anticipating leaving the Earth any time soon, but this question needs answers.

As parents, we can have all the legal and financial documents in place, but those papers don't address the real concern of what will happen to our kids.  HOW will they live?  What are their actual abilities?  Even more important, how confident are they?

This summer I am focusing on educating our autistic teens on real life skills and issues.  Everything from junk mail and scams to emergency situations.  My goal is to get them functioning independently NOW.  Not when they're older.  Not when I'm physically or mentally gone (ok that occasionally happens already).

There are the obvious life lessons of budgeting, shopping, cooking, cleaning, housing, schooling, etc.  There's also the medical and government agencies that requires mountains of paperwork.  Details.  Follow through. There are many steps in each of these issues.

For example, transportation--can my boys drive? My parents have volunteered to help in this endeavor.  Getting a driver's permit, let alone license, is paramount to independence.  We're not sure the boys can handle driving, but we need to find out. If they can't, then getting them familiar with public transit will be the next step.  Finding support systems and training is vital, and they do exist.

Home From Surgery

Surgery done.  Outpatient basis.  Am home.  Whew!

This all started about 6 weeks ago.  Yep, I noticed a lump, bump, or thing on my right shoulder blade.  It was on top of sore muscles--muscles that are always tight when I'm stressed.  (Connection? Hmm.  Would not be surprised.)  There was no pain, no redness, no itching.  Just this lump.

Surgery time! I was awake through the whole procedure.  After the local anesthetic took effect, I felt nothing but a lot of tugging and pulling.  The surgeon described what she was doing.  Not a bunch of detail, enough to keep my imagination in check. The incision is about 3 inches long, so this tumor was not small.  After all was done, I saw the tumor.  Gnarly thing.  A big clump of tissues banded together.

This lovely collection of unwanted cells will be sent to the lab for testing.  The doc is fairly sure that it is benign, but I will wait for official results before closing this chapter.  I don't want to think it's all done, only to find out it's not. 

I asked how long it had been growing.  The doc estimated 5 years.  She is not sure how it remained hidden, but it did.

It's been a few hours now.  My right arm tingles.  Pins and needles kind of pain.  Think of the funny bone being hit just right; then the arm feels a tingling paralysis.  Muscles are tight throughout the neck and shoulder.  Other than that, I'm fine.

Just have to wait for those lab results. In the meantime, I get to sit and watch a movie marathon from my recliner.  Life is good!

Summer School Adventure

For the last two weeks my teens with autism have been in summer school. It's a four hour course, four days a week, for four weeks. It's the equivalent of a semester of school. I asked Ryan and Nick if they wanted to try this class. My hope is that their regular school year will be less stressful by taking a required class over the summer. They will be able to focus on one class, which is much easier for kids with autism to do.

I also have an ulterior motive. Ryan and Nick are very different, and I hope that their skills will benefit each other. For example, Nick is a perfectionist. He will study until he knows it, even if he fills himself with anxiety. No breaks. This sounds like a mother's dream; he has an incredible work ethic. However, he gets chest pains, shortness of breath, and headaches. Not good.

On the other hand, Ryan is laid back when it comes to studying. There is always tomorrow, even if that final is tomorrow. Ryan has little concept of time. If there is a worksheet to complete, he can do that. There is a definitive beginning and end. However, studying? NOT going to happen unless he is prompted by me.

Another idea is that Nick, who is very social, will enable or inspire Ryan to talk. Nick has a difficult time talking, but he's not afraid to try. Ryan can talk quite well, but he prefers to not engage in conversation. Nick will self-advocate; Ryan will not.

We'll see how the two compliment or compete with each other.

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