Autism: Surviving and Thriving

Fourteen years ago my youngest 3 boys were diagnosed with autism within a 9 month span. Devastation and grieving followed. Doctors gave me little or no hope, but they didn't know me very well. I refused to believe that my boys were doomed.

My boys are now young men, adults with autism. They are thriving, but every day presents its turmoil and challenges.

My family: husband Mike, sons Ryan 23 yr, Nicholas 21 yr, and Cameron 18 yr. (Ryan and Nick have autism; Cam has recovered from autism.) Our oldest sons, Michael 34 yr and Stuart 25 yr, moved out of the house. Ryan has also moved out, and is still working towards complete independence.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

How My Family Simplified Christmas Gifts

Five years ago I searched through every closet, corner, and crevice, looking for items I could give away to make room for the incoming treasures that Christmas might bring. After three months of purging, my home was that--a home. It was not full of antiquated toys, books, and clothes. We had space to live and breath! Suddenly, dusting was easy. WOW.

The thought of new items occupying this new space dampened my spirit. I did not want to have to repeat this headache of purging and sorting, but how could I not allow my children the fun of receiving gifts from their loving grandparents and relatives? My children would not understand, particularly my sons with autism. Tradition dictated that Christmas celebrations included Mass and presents!

At the same time that I faced this problem, I really wanted my whole family to go on a vacation. Time and money were always in short supply. After weeks of pondering these issues, I asked my husband what he thought of this solution: instead of receiving toys, why don't we ask the relatives who were inclined to give our sons gifts, that they give money towards a trip, like Disneyland. He liked the idea.

We approached the grandparents, and they were thrilled with the idea. No more guessing of what toys or games to purchase. No more questions of what size, color, or brand of clothing might the grandkids like. No more crowds at the malls. No more fighting for parking spaces. No more shipping charges and post office lines. Indeed, we were on to something.

On Christmas morning, there were small packages for everyone to open. Inside the boxes were tickets to Disneyland. The boys were absolutely astounded. We also received a dvd so the kids could actually see what Disneyland was like. They had no problem understanding that this was a huge vacation.

The following week we experienced great fun and apprehension, but I will cover that in a different post. The ultimate conclusion was a simplified Christmas, for both the givers and receivers, and a wonderful family vacation that we have since repeated five times annually.


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