Cacti Garden: Project Done!

Before the work began.  Dead plant.

The boys finished the cacti garden the next day.  It's just taken me a few weeks to get the photos.  They worked well together, although they did ask if they could stop and finish "later" or "tomorrow".  I kept them on task.  When they were done, they were very proud of their work.

Each boy had his own cactus or succulent that was special to him, but they worked together to space out the plants.  Ryan figured out quickly how not to get pricked by the spines.  He used the plastic container that the cactus came in.  He simply flipped the container over and guided the top of the plant where he wanted it.  Then he quickly filled in the dirt around the plant.  Cameron tried not to use anything, but in the end, he admitted he needed gloves.  Nick just kept quietly digging and filling dirt without a word.

Ryan in front.  Cameron in the red shirt.  Nick in the back.

It's been two weeks, and they are very concerned about watering the cacti garden.  I have to remind them that cacti don't need water.  Hence, one of the reasons we picked to add them to our landscape.  Less water, less $$ out.

They periodically go out to check on the growth of the garden.  Ryan is especially proud of his saguaro.  It'll be the biggest cactus in the garden in a few years.

I can't wait to see how the plants progress and how each boy looks after garden in the coming months and years.

Finally done!

Autism and Sensory Issues: Cacti Garden

In the Southwest, this is the perfect time of year to enjoy outside activities.  The boys agreed to pull out a huge, dead vine and put in a cactus garden.  The dead plant didn't receive enough water, so what else would make sense but to plant items that don't need much water?

Secretly, I had an ulterior motive.  I have noticed that some sensory issues are creeping back.  It has been over a year since Ryan and Nick have received any occupational therapy.  This type of therapy has helped them overcome a vast array of sensory issues.  For example, they can now wear jeans.  When they were younger, all they could tolerate on their skin was cotton.  Jeans were too itchy and heavy for them.  It took about 5-10 years for them to overcome clothing issues.

Anyways, at the autism conference last month I noticed Ryan could not wear his name badge.  It was attached to a cord that was suppose to go around his neck.  It lasted 10 minutes on his neck.  Throughout the day he tried to wear it because it was "required" to get in and out of the conference rooms.  Nonetheless, it never stayed around his neck for more than 10 minutes.

To deal with the sensory issues, I decided to use soil.  However, I needed to be creative.  The boys are not big fans of "therapies".  Thus, the idea of a cactus garden was born.  Dry dirt, wet mud, hard clay, icky weeds, and dead vines were attacked today.  The boys tolerated most of these items as long as I kept them busy.  If one stopped with the chore, suddenly the gunk on his hands bothered him.  Each one wanted to take a break and wash his hands.  I knew if they stopped, there'd be no getting them back on task.  Consequently, I was a benevolent dictator today.

I worked side by side with them.  Cut, pull, dig.  It took a few hours, but we finished pulling out the weeds and the dead plant.  We filled two garbage cans with the debris.  I was amazed at how well this team of autistic teens worked together.

After cleaning up and eating any food available, we went cacti shopping.  We found a wonderful array of inexpensive succulents and cacti.  Nick made the request for blue plants, and we actually found two blue cacti.  Cameron found a beautiful plant called a silver torch.  Cam discovered the soft, white "cotton" on the cactus belied the hidden sharp spines.  "Ouch," he exclaimed with astonishment.

Tomorrow we plant the new arrivals!  I have a feeling tomorrow will bring a new round of sensory issues:  planting and avoiding the spines.

photo credit:Clinton Steeds' photostream (200)

Autism and Balancing Life: Mary vs Martha

Mary and Martha with Christ

Mary vs Martha? 

It has been a very busy week with the end of the quarter.  My younger three boys are in junior high or high school.  Projects, tests, assignments abound.  Autism in the mix makes for a wonderfully chaotic week!

Today is Friday, and now I get to catch up on the necessities of running the house.  Bills, paperwork, follow-up on insurance, doctors, prescriptions, bank accounts, housework, laundry, etc.  I stress to the boys that work needs to be done before they can pursue fun activities.  My problem is I never seem to get to the fun activities myself.

A friend called this the Martha vs Mary syndrome.  I laughed.

Who are Martha and Mary?  They are sisters out of the New Testament.  Jesus visits them.  Mary chooses to listen to Jesus.  Martha works to prepare the meal.  Martha is disappointed that her sister leaves the preparations to Martha.  Consequently, Martha asks Jesus to instruct Mary to help with the workload.  Jesus responds, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; one thing is needful.  Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42

I guess you can say that the moral of the story is that the spirit needs to be fed first.  Then all other matters can be tended.   It comes down to priorities.

I used to lean towards Mary.  I could easily give up housework and chores for whatever reason.  Now I lean heavily towards Martha.  Duties need to be done. DONE.  Maybe I'm becoming obsessive-compulsive myself.  I see so many things needing my attention, and I'm overwhelmed.  So many things.

I teach my kids about balance. Sometimes I even say they need to do an hour of yard work (or homework) before an hour of leisure. I need to take my own advice.  I need to balance obligation and fun.  The cure to the Mary vs Martha syndrome is not one over the other.  Tis the balance of Mary AND Martha!

photo credit:http://www.danielim.com/2011/06/13/integrating-two-sides-mary-vs-martha-or-mary-and-martha/

Getting Through The End Of The Quarter Workload

Nearing the end of the quarter is not fun for teachers or students.  For an autistic teenager, it's an anxious-ridden, turbulent time.  If autism is coupled with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), it's a nightmare for the family. 

This last weekend Nicholas presented me with the work he had to accomplish.  He had a huge project due on Monday.  He also had a major test in that same class on Monday.  He had another project due later in the week.  This particular project required drawing and writing:  the two weaknesses of Nicholas.  There were other assignments and tests, also due on Monday.

Monday Morning Blues awaited, but we could lessen that impact with hard work.  The trick was to not let Nicholas feel anxiety.  Once that hits, game over.  That means he can't focus anymore.  Literally.

I spent the weekend working with Nick.  We prioritized.  What had to be done immediately?  What could we use as a "break"?  When I saw how much information this one test was going to cover, we instantly started studying.  I learned with him.  We focused on major concepts.  Then we added details.  Memory is Nick's strength.

When we had to take a break, we focused on the projects.  We alternated memorizing and projects.  Until 5pm Saturday evening.  I could see stress starting to build in Nick.  We had covered so much, yet we had much more to do.  I had to pace us--to keep going slowly but steadily.

By 6pm Nick's eyes revealed signs of anxiety.  We stopped.  I made a decision.  No more project work.  Nick's eyes widened.  I told him enough was enough.  He had to focus on one item.  I said the test was more important that the project.  I told him I'd email the teacher right away.  He was unsure, but he immediately sighed.  Really.  His shoulders relaxed.

I emailed the teacher about the situation, even saying that I assumed she would be understanding and generous.  I received a reply Sunday morning.  The teacher agreed to let Nick have an extension on the project.  She enlightened me that she knew Nick had been working on it since the project was assigned.  He was asking her questions daily.  So this definitely was not a case of procrastination.  I showed Nick the teacher's email, and he was happy.  Nick was happy.  :)

Nick came home yesterday, and he said that he thought he did well on the test.  It hadn't been graded, but he wasn't concerned.  Which is unusual.  He said he had to focus on the projects.  Last night we drafted three pages of his project, and he completed them.  Tonight we'll do the graphs and the written assignment.  That will be one project done.

Then the next project awaits.  Always, one at a time!

Sweet Sixteen Is Nicholas

Nick's 16 with Ryan, Mike, and Cam

Today is Nick's birthday.  We celebrated yesterday because Dad had a day off.  We kept it simple.  Nick chose a restaurant specifically for their gluten free pizza crusts and gluten free desserts.  He opened a few presents at home, and he was very happy with his new treasures.

Nick is now very happy that he is one step closer to getting his driving permit. He is taking drivers ed in school, but I'm not sure when he'll get that permit.  That is one decision we won't worry about today.

His band class sang happy birthday to him this morning.  Otherwise, Nick reported that it was a quiet, yet fun day.  We have a few little surprises left for tonight.  I didn't let him open every gift yesterday.

Happy Birthday, Nick!

Autism and Signing Documents

Paperwork!! Nobody likes paperwork, but it is one of those necessities of life.  Especially for kids with autism.  Adults with autism too.

Yesterday, Ryan signed his first set of legal documents.  He signed powers of attorney.  One was 13 pages long!  The others were only a few pages.  He diligently read each section that he was asked to initial.  He took his time.  At the end of each document he signed his name.  Carefully.  In cursive.  We rehearsed that.

For several weeks Mike and I have been talking with Ryan about growing up and taking responsibility.  That is something that Ryan isn't really keen on.  He definitely wants freedom and independence, but he's not really keen on the responsibility that comes with the territory of adulthood.

That can spell disaster for a typical 18 year old, but for an adult with autism who might be easily swayed, this is not something to take lightly.  Any wrong decision could be life altering for him.  And us.

I researched the different avenues we could pursue, as parents, for Ryan.  We want to protect him, while continuing to teach him about his choices in life.  We want him to continue to become independent from us, while minimizing risks.  It's really an oxymoron in logic.

I attended a few seminars about guardianship and "transitioning into adulthood".  I learned about the various types of guardianship that would require going to court to prove to a judge that Ryan is incompetent, completely or partially.  That would remove all or some rights for Ryan, like driving, voting, etc. I also learned about power of attorney that doesn't restrict Ryan's rights at all.  He authorizes us (or whomever he chooses) to make decisions or help him make decisions.  He retains his ability to make his choices independently, as well.
 
My gut reaction was the option of the power of attorney.  Mike agreed.  We explained the power of attorney concept to Ryan, and he liked that idea!  I found a special needs estate planner to draw up the documents.  Although I could have used any attorney, I want someone who specializes in this field.  It took a couple of weeks, and yesterday, Ryan signed those documents.

His first signing as an adult.