Autism: Surviving and Thriving

Fourteen years ago my youngest 3 boys were diagnosed with autism within a 9 month span. Devastation and grieving followed. Doctors gave me little or no hope, but they didn't know me very well. I refused to believe that my boys were doomed.

My boys are now young men, adults with autism. They are thriving, but every day presents its turmoil and challenges.

My family: husband Mike, sons Ryan 23 yr, Nicholas 21 yr, and Cameron 18 yr. (Ryan and Nick have autism; Cam has recovered from autism.) Our oldest sons, Michael 34 yr and Stuart 25 yr, moved out of the house. Ryan has also moved out, and is still working towards complete independence.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Ryan WON!!

Ryan won his first tennis match yesterday.  It was also the first win for his team for the season.  YEA.

I am bummed that I missed it.  With the last minute schedule change, I couldn't watch any of the match.  However, Gramma made it.  She told me via text about the win.  I was very excited.

Then came some strange news from Gramma.

It wasn't Ryan who told her about the victory.  It was Nick.  Nick was ecstatic, and was sharing the news with great enthusiasm.  Ryan was quiet.

When we all arrived at home from our various activities, I asked Ryan about the win.  He acknowledged that he won.  That was it.  Nick gave a few details, again with enthusiasm.

I told Ryan that we don't need to celebrate.  He seemed ok with that.  I thought that would get a big reaction, like a "Why not?"  Nick did ask, though.

Then I explained.  If Ryan is not happy about his win, then neither are we.  Ryan didn't like that.  He tried to suppress a smile.  I immediately told him to smile.  "DO smile.  It is worth celebrating. This is BIG."  Again, he tried to suppress a smile.

I ended up showing him a picture of him when he was quite young.  He had a happy face, a big smile.  He was genuinely happy.  I said, "That is you smiling.  That is you happy. It's ok to show it."

He dared a small smile.

I told myself--baby steps.  He needs baby steps.  I don't understand why he doesn't want to smile or talk about his win.  But he does need to know it's ok to smile.

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